Ever dealt with Impostor Syndrome? Not sure what it is? Let’s look at some hypothetical situations: Have you ever landed a job or gotten that promotion you’ve always wanted and feel like you just got lucky? Or like you don’t really deserve it at all? Or have you ever sat in a conference meeting hoping no one asks you a specific question you don’t know the answer to? Because that would make you look like a fool?
If you have, welcome to the club. I, too, have suffered from impostor syndrome, in a variety different ways. And often times, it’s takes me a moment to even realize I’m feeling that way.
So with this post I want to do a couple of things. First, I want to just explain what Impostor Syndrome is, the ways it can sneak into your everyday life without you even realizing it. Then I want to speak about how to deal with it. How to pin point when you are suffering from it and how to start changing the way you respond to it.
What Is It?
So what exactly is this Imposter Syndrome? Basically, impostor syndrome happens to people when they are second guessing their achievements or are feeling like that are undeserving of their successes. Phrases like, “I got lucky.” or even the modest, “Oh, it was nothing.” come out of one’s mouth without even realizing it.
Impostor syndrome tends to happen to women in more male dominated industries. I mean, just imagine being the only woman in a room full men. You are just going to feel like you don’t belong.
By Definition:
As defined by Wikipedia:
Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they are frauds, and do not deserve all they have achieved. Individuals with impostorism incorrectly attribute their success to luck, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent than they perceive themselves to be. While early research focused on the prevalence among high-achieving women, impostor syndrome has been recognized to affect both men and women equally
When Does It Happen?
Quite frankly, it probably has already happened and you don’t even realize it! I didn’t even know I had signs of it until another woman in another high ranking position mentioned it to me. Then I started making my own connections with how it was effecting my in my own career.
Ever felt like you don’t belong at the head of the conference table? Ever stumbled when someone asks your position in the firm, like you didn’t deserve it? Or feel almost embarrassed or childish if it’s then followed with the word, “Really?” or “Wow.” (I have plenty of personal experiences with those!)
That uncomfortable feeling, or feeling of slight embarrassment; that’s it. Imposter syndrome has reared it’s ugly head. Without even trying, you are probably already second guessing yourself and your abilities.
When a person feels like they belong, it gives them confidence. That’s why a woman in a more male dominated industry tends to feel like they don’t belong. You start to notice that the people you work with treat you differently, which if you are like me, you really don’t want. This all can add up to how you feel.
So How Do You Deal?
Change How You Respond to these Challenges
So this is the most difficult part in the process; changing the way you react. For instance, if you have a moment where you doubt yourself and your abilities just because you don’t know “the answer” right away, stop and rethink the situation. Instead of spiraling into a sea of self-doubt, ask for help. Once you realize most of this is in your head and that people do not think you are incompetent, you can begin to grow in your abilities.
You may also think that you are the only person who feels this way around you, but you are not. Once you realize it is just your thought process getting in your way, you can begin to work around it. Then you only have little “imposter moments” instead of an “imposter life.” The overall goal is to ultimately never feel like you are an imposter; but realistically everyone, at one time or another, is going to feel like that.
My own personal struggle is to get over the thought that I was lucky to get where I am. Because the truth is, it wasn’t luck. I came to be where I am because of the hard work I put in and certain choices that I made early in my career.
Every so often that phrase will pop into my head, or even out my mouth, and immediately I have to retrain myself to say,
“No, I earned this. I worked long hours and studied even longer to get licensed young. I went the extra mile to become a LEED AP. I’ve been knocked down in this industry and I’ve always picked myself back up. I deserve to be here. I deserve to sit at the table.”
Here’s Some Recommended Reading!
Need some more help? Do what I do and look for books and other resources to help overcome you imposter syndrome and inspire you in your career. Some of my personal favorites are listed below! Happy reading!
Imposter Syndrome is just a fancy phrase for being fearful that someone may call you out on not knowing everything. Well guess what? You don’t know everything. Nobody does. However, you are growing in your career to learn more and more each day. So whenever you feel that self doubt rising in you, look for the truth of the matter: It’s all in your head. Once you figure that out, push it to the side and keep on moving forward! You got this!
