How many times have you heard the phrase “These days you can have it all” as it pertains to your career and life?  As a young woman, I’ve heard it my fair share of times, usually from older women who have helped pave the way for me in the industry.

And it’s not that I think they are wrong.  It’s just that phrase makes it sounds so easy, when it fact it can be difficult for anyone (man or woman) to succeed in creating work-life balance.

For this post I will mainly just focus on  my own point of view and personal experiences.  Cause I’ve been out of balance, more than once.  And if I’m being completely honest, I’m sure it will probably happen again.

When you are devoted to your career, like a lot of Architects are, it becomes so easy for you to loose sight of what is going on beyond the computer screen.  It becomes so hard to allow yourself to let go of your work for the day, especially when you are on fire with a design.

When I Put Career First

I’ve been there.  Here’s a short story:  I had just started at my firm and was the only architect on staff.  It was MY job to get quality designs and construction documents out for our clients now.  I was amped at the opportunity that was given to me and wanted to prove myself!  I wanted to show everybody that it was a good thing I was a part of their team now!

Upon starting I was given the task of designing two separate projects: a 7,500 square foot gas station with tenant bays, and a 15,000 square foot dermatology clinic/spa.  To say I was nervous would  be an understatement.

I was learning and growing so much in such a fast amount of time, because I had to.  We had deadlines to hit!  So what slowly started to happened?  I started sacrificing my home life.  First I started to arrive 30 minutes early to squeeze in more time at work.  That expanded to staying late as well.  Soon I decided I should also come into the office on Saturdays for at least a half day of work (still a go-to for me only IF I need it.  An empty office = amazing focus!)

My Wake Up Call

So where did it get me at my job?  Yep, I was able to design the two projects in a decent amount of time.  But at what cost?  You guessed it.  Quality time at home with my husband and two puppers was becoming nonexistent.  I began to miss the simple things in life cause I was ALWAYS at work or thinking about work.  It wasn’t long until my husband finally had a “come to Jesus” with me.

He missed me.  And I missed him.  True, I had gotten a lot accomplished at work.  But you know what?  There was still so much to do.  I would never be completely finished with work; something else (hopefully!) is always going to be coming down the shoot.

Words to Live By

Ever since then I have made it a point to work my tail off 8-5, and the just go home.  Leave the work where it is; cause it will be there tomorrow.  I realized I NEED to go home to re-energize and refocus.  I need to go home to make sure I remember what it is I am working FOR.  This career can beat you up and your home is your world that loves you for nothing more than being you.

An employer (and personal mentor of mine) said something that has stuck with me.  She said, one day while sitting at lunch together:

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I sat there near frozen.  She was right.  This thing that I loved and had spent so much of my time learning about, doesn’t care about me.  Architecture is art and therefore a field under constant criticism, always finding the holes in your designs.  For every “fan” you have, you can bet you probably have at least two haters.  That’s just part of it.

Balance or Constant Flux?

So you may be thinking, “Ok, Stevie.  So what do you do?”  And for me it’s this:  I’ve realized that it’s not so much that we need to be in “balance” with our life.  You sometimes just have to realize that you are actually on a see-saw; life on one side and career on the other.

Sometimes You Just Have to Realize, You’re on a See-Saw

There are days or weeks where I may be in-and-out of the office cause my dog is sick, or my sister is in dire need of a sitter one day.  Then there are days or weeks that I’m slammed with work and HAVE to hit deadlines.

So I do this.  I pull quality hours during the work week so I can pull quality hours with my family.  Simple as that.  No guilt either way.

So yes.  I’m probably in the minority concerning my stance on this subject, but again, it’s just my point of view.  See you on the playground, I’ll be on the see-saw, guilt free and loving life!